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Independence Through Tough Times

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By: Serena Kulaga

Connor Kidd [was] born and raised in Warren, Michigan, by his mother and father, who separated while he was a young boy. His dad, who had primary custody, abused alcohol on a regular basis, leaving him incapable of properly raising a child while his mother abused other forms of drugs.

Connor’s [said his] dad is very narrow-minded and not accepting of different sexual orientations. Despite his father’s disapproval to that way of life, Keith has just recently come out to his close friends and family as homosexual.

“If I can’t get this thought out of my head that I might be gay, then maybe it’s a possibility that I need to explore.”

Connor Kidd

SK: How did you feel when you first realized that you were interested in same sex relationships?

Kidd: I felt like it was something that I kept trying to convince myself out of. I thought I was just overthinking a weird feeling that I was having and turning it into a situation that it wasn’t. Then it got to the point where I thought to myself, “If I can’t get this thought out of my head that I might be gay, then maybe it’s a possibility that I need to explore.”

SK: Who are the people who have most influenced your life and how have they affected you?

Kidd: My dad, and not in a positive way. I’m not saying deep down he didn’t care for me, but he wasn’t the ideal or “standard” dad by any means. He raised [me] to be independent from a really young age, just because he was usually doing his own thing and I was to afraid to ever interrupt him, because he had a temper. So, I guess even though it wasn’t a wonderful childhood, I also gained that sort of self-efficient quality, and being around him just made me want to get a job so I could get a car and move out faster. I became a very mature kid early on for that reason.

SK: What made you decide to finally come out? 

Kidd: After just keeping it to myself for a while it’s just like I got comfortable with the idea. I mean, keep in mind that I had this feeling that I was gay back when I was 17 years old and I’m 19 now, so for two years I just letting [sic!] it marinate in my mind, I just sort of accepted the fact that it was a real possibility that I was attracted to men. So, then I figured, once I was comfortable with it, that I could share it with the people that I trusted [who] wouldn’t look at me differently or judge me for being me.

SK: Who did you confide in and how did they react?

Kidd: My two roommates were the first I confided in. They’re my very best friends and I knew that they would always care for me and support me, no matter who or what gender I was drawn to. They took the news as I expected and I don’t feel anything has changed in my friendship with either of them, which is exactly how I wanted it to be.

I also ended up coming out to my dad, but not until the day I was moving out of his house and into my apartment. I didn’t know how he would react and I didn’t want to take the chance of being thrown out and having to live with my mom because that’s even worse than my dad’s house. He was enraged at first and tried to tell me that I was making it up. I don’t see him on a regular basis anymore, but when we do talk, he acts as if I never told him and just carries on with normal conversation as if nothing happened.

Connor now lives with his two roommates in Rochester, Michigan where he is free to do as he pleases and is living a more relaxed and comfortable life with his close friends. Though his childhood experiences might not have influenced this feeling of his, it did shape him to think and care for himself, which helped him confront many difficult or challenging situations, such as this one.

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